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Dialogue or narrative – that is the dilemma

Cover of Sharon A. Crawford's mystery short story collection

Cover of Sharon A. Crawford’s mystery short story collection

We care what happens to people only in proportion as we know what people are.

–           Henry James

My publisher wants me to make my prequel mystery novel a bit shorter. Part of the problem is my two main characters, fraternal twins Dana and Bast, get too chatty in some places, especially when they are bringing each other up to speed on their separate investigations.

When do you use dialogue and when do you use short narrative to summarize what characters tell each other so that your novel or short story flows and doesn’t bore your reader? You want to make your reader care about your characters, not have your characters put your reader to sleep. Here are a few (but not only or all) guidelines to consider:

  1. Do you need to show anything with their actual dialogue and any accompanying actions? For example, if one character is giving the other some bad news and their reaction includes what they say and how they say it, you might want to go the dialogue route.
  2. Don’t drag out the dialogue exchange between characters. It can turn into the equivalent of repeatedly driving your point home to your reader. For example, I have Bast and Dana often repeating the same setup ad nauseum when they are comparing notes – each are reacting the same way and sometimes their dialogue covers what is told elsewhere in the novel. Summarizing that Dana brought Bast up to speed on whatever situation would suffice.
  3. A caveat to the above two points: there is a fine line from using dialogue to bring out the character’s reactions to something when necessary and when the dialogue shows as repetition. Ask yourself: is the dialogue best to show foreshadowing and move the plot along? You might be better to use dialogue then. Also dialogue and/or action might work better if the character is changing – perhaps trying to be stronger than wimpy or holding in his or her anger.
  4. With mystery fiction where the police detective or private investigator is interviewing a number of “persons of interest,” summarize in narrative the ones who have little or no information to contribute and use dialogue where something of importance to your plot shows up in the interrogation.
  5. Be careful you don’t overdo the narrative just to contain your dialogue. You don’t want to overdo the telling and bore your reader this way. However, with narrative you can include the character’s inner thoughts and actions.
  6. Sometimes you can combine narrative with summary. Here’s how I did it in the short story Digging Up the Dirt, with the fraternal twins. Instead of Dana repeating to Bast her “interrogation” by the constable and what led up to it, I wrote:

And you actually let that constable order you around,” my fraternal twin, Bast, said later.

“Well, I had to listen to Fielding’s interrogation, especially of Aunt Doris.” I smiled.

(copyright 2012 Sharon A. Crawford. Excerpted from Beyond the Tripping Point, published by Blue Denim Press, 2012)

If you want to show how characters relate to each other under various circumstances and bring out their distinctive traits, dialogue with action might work best. If it gets too long, you can intersperse it with narrative. I do this in another story in Beyond the Tripping Point. Below is the link of my reading the opening scene in “Body in the Trunk,” clipped from my interview with Hugh Reilly on Liquid Lunch from thatchannel. The reading and the short preview before is three minutes long.

Sharon A. Crawford  Reading from Beyond the Tripping Point on Liquid Lunch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgOKYgBfAwY&feature=youtu.be

Now I need to get back to my own novel and follow my advice.

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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What motivates your characters?

Click on the book cover to go to amazon.com

Click on the book cover to go to amazon.com

A novelist is a person who lives in other people’s skins.

–           EL Doctorow

Why do your fiction characters do what they do? Are they acting/reacting in character or way out of character? How do you “make” your characters behave?

First of all, you only have some control over your characters. As you are writing, often a character will “take over” and “decide” just what they are going to do. Fine, but you still need to make sure they aren’t acting outside of who they are. Or that you, as the author, aren’t manipulating what they are doing, especially having them do something just to move your story along or worse, just to write something.

Let me give an example.

Take Dana, the PI In “Gone Missing” and “Saving Grace,” two of the four linked short stories in my short story collection, Beyond the Tripping Point. Dana is also the mother of a seven-year old boy. So her dual role must factor in what her character thinks and does. Add to that the fact that her son is psychologically mute because of something that happened to him in the prequel novel (more on that shortly) and my work was cut out for me. In a critique of “Gone Missing” a few years back, I was chastised for not making Dana more professional. But with her problems with David, she wouldn’t be operating as a PI only – all professionalism –unless she is a “bad” mother – finds her son an impediment to her life, etc. Dana is not that and is always torn between her two roles, something readers can identify with in real life. So I have her wrestling with David and helping him as well as trying to solve the missing persons’ cases in those two stories. In “Saving Grace” she has a bit of a meltdown at one point chastising herself for being a bad mother. And to add insult to injury, another character Great Aunt Doris, who is a traditionalist where mothers are concerned, calls her a bad mother.

What is a mother/PI to do? Be human. Act in character.

In the prequel novel which I am rewriting for my publisher to look at, the actual occurrence which causes David’s muteness and all its implications has Dana roller-coasting a lot more than in the short stories. She does some stupid things, briefly goes into a catatonic state and sometimes gets more aggressive than usual. But – and it’s a large “but” all this change, all these actions and reactions come from her basic character and who she is. I don’t pull them out of the air. She is acting in character and characters have to deal with hurdles and change. So do people in real life and maybe that is a bottom line.

Make your characters real. What motivates them? Are they acting in character even when they don’t seem to be?

And go to my publisher’s page for a link to my interview with Hugh Reilly on thatchannel.com where I talk about some of these characters and where they and the plots originated. Eventually I’ll get that video up in the main part of this blog.. For now go to http://www.bluedenimpress.com/sharon-crawford.php and click on the link at the bottom of my bio.

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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Keeping track of everything in your story

Amazon.com link to Sharon A.'s short story collection

Amazon.com link to Sharon A.’s short story collection

If you start to revise before you’ve reached the end, you’re likely to begin dawdling with the revisions and putting off the difficult task of writing.

–          Pearl S. Buck

Currently I’m rewriting the prequel novel to four linked short stories in Beyond the Tripping Point. I’m expanding and complicating the plot and telling the story from four points of view. The original novel had only one POV – the first person singular – Dana. Yes it is the fraternal twins again and my own head has been going back and forth from the points of view of Dana, her twin Bast, her son David, and a suspect who isn’t named. I am following the rules of one character’s POV per scene or chapter.

However, all this to-ing and fro-ing makes it more difficult to keep track of timelines, who is doing what and the biggie – consistency in story line, in character’s actions, etc. To lower the muddle factor, I started a new file called “Follow-up List.” Every time something occurs that requires checking/changing for consistency, timeline – even research, it goes on the list. Right now timeline, consistency and keeping all the police constables sorted out are the big factors.

Why am I doing this? Besides the obvious, if you constantly stop writing to do research or sort out characters and timeline, you lose your creative flow. Mind you, I am going back for a few things if they are interfering with moving the plot along from where I am working. But the research can wait – some of it is just re-checking facts I’m not sure I got right. Or some detail such as a name change, can be fixed by using the Find and Replace Word features – preferably at the end of your writing session.

Another action I take (and I’ve mentioned it in an earlier post) is refusing to stall over a word that doesn’t seem quite right or is repetitious. Stopping to look it up in the Thesaurus, even if online, also breaks the creative flow. For example, as I wrote this blog post, I spelled Thesaurus incorrectly but did not correct it immediately. Here Word underlined it in red so I could go back and change it. For repetitious words or words not quite right, you just need to put (word) or (repetition) in brackets after the offending word and return to it later in your rewrite or in my case, another rewrite to fine-tune the rewrite I’m doing now. One final suggestion – format your manuscript before you start writing. Or if your situation is similar to mine – a rewrite of a novel originally written 10 or 11 years ago, where the formatting was different, you can leave it until you are finished. Stopping to fix paragraph formatting stops the creative flow.

And how is my massive rewrite going? Nearly finished the first big rewrite. If all goes well I’m hoping to have it done by the end of the day tomorrow. Afterwards, I want to let it sit for a few days and then go through my follow-up list and well, follow it.

Meantime, I’m doing plenty of PR for my short story collection Beyond the Tripping Point. Tonight I’m doing a sort of performance reading of a short story excerpt as part of the Periodical Writers Association of Canada’s Talent Night. Sometime between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. I’ll be onstage at the Free Times Cafe in downtown Toronto. If you are in the Toronto area perhaps you can drop in. Check out http://www.freetimescafe.com/ for more information, including location, or go to my website http://www.samcraw.com under Beyond the Tripping Point where I’m posting upcoming readings, etc. as I get them. All my links are either on this book page or at the top of my website home page you will find the usual social media icons.

And if you click on the book icon at the top of this post, when you get to amazon.com, please read my bio and click on the Like Icon. Thanks.

Keep the creative flow going.

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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Setting Writing Goals for 2013

amazon.com link to Sharon A. Crawford's book

amazon.com link to Sharon A. Crawford’s book

The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes.

–          Agatha Christie

I’m not sure what the characters in my mystery short story collection Beyond the Tripping Point would plan to do in the new year. Some of the stories take place way before 2013 – for example 1965, 1997 and 1998. Be that as it may, that is no excuse why I and any other writer can’t set writing goals. It’s a new year and that brings new chances to write. If you’ve been procrastinating about finishing or even starting that novel or short story, here are a few outside the box (and a few inside the writing box) ideas how to get yourself from wishful thinking to actually writing.

1.    Do something else, like the late Agatha Christie’s suggestion above and I don’t think she meant using a dishwasher unless the dishwasher is you. Also try gardening (outdoors in season or indoor gardening in winter), walking, vacuuming and dusting, even sleeping. The idea is something mechanical and boring (washing dishes) and something that frees your mind to think creativity (walking, gardening) can kick-start an idea in your mind.
2.    Keep a notepad – electronic or hard copy – and write these ideas down as they hit your brain – you don’t want to operate like a gnat. That means keep something to do so near your bed at night.
3.    Take this latter a step further and start writing down your dreams no matter how silly they seem – analyze them or not, but the content alone may inspire a story.
4.    Learn from other writers – aspiring, established or in-between. Read blogs, attend writing workshops and courses (online or in person), join writing organizations and groups (preferably some that you have to go to in person as the personal connection with writers is good for your writing soul).
5.    Read novels and stories like you want to write – in print or e-book, whichever works for you. Reading others’ writing inspires you, not just with ideas, but with the writer’s style and grace.
6.    Blog excerpts of your writing – but make sure you state that it is copyrighted by you and don’t post the whole story because it could be considered a first publication and may interfere with other publication (unless you self-publish; then you can do what you want). On the other hand blog posts can often turn into seeds for books – trade or self-published. For an example, see posts by Alex Leybourne at http://alexlaybourne.com/
7.    Blog about your writing journey. We can learn from each other. For an example, see blog posts at http://bottledworder.wordpress.com/
8.    Try to write every day, even if just for an hour. For inspiration on this check out Julia Cameron’s The Writer’s Way at http://juliacameronlive.com/
9.    And perhaps most important – set writing goals for the year. Check http://bottledworder.wordpress.com/2012/12/31/new-years-resolutions-2013-guide-for-writers/ and Alex Laybourne’s blog post for Jan. 2 at http://alexlaybourne.com/2013/01/01/new-beginnings-a-guide-to-2013/

Happy and prolific writing for 2013.

If you read my book (see book cover at the top), please review it. Thanks.

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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How do fiction characters act in a snowstorm?

Amazon.com link to Sharon A. Crawford's book

Amazon.com link to Sharon A. Crawford’s book

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words.

–          William Shakespeare

Toronto and other parts of Ontario as well as Quebec and the Maritimes got blasted with the first big snowfall of the season overnight. So I thought it might be interesting to dump some of our fiction characters into a snowstorm and see how they could behave.

My obvious choice of characters are the two friends, Millie and Jessica, from my short story “No Breaks” in my short story collection Beyond the Tripping Point. The story is set on a hot and humid August day but what would happen if the duo were driving up Ontario’s Highway 11 to the Muskoka cottage during a snow storm? This area gets lots of snow on the highway and with the brakes in Millie’s car failing, would Millie’s work-around that even be feasible in a snow storm? Perhaps the storm itself stalls traffic. So setting is changed but the reason for their trip up to Jessica’s family cottage wouldn’t be summer and beach related. Perhaps they are headed up there for Christmas. If you take all the other factors in the story (and I’m not telling all; you have to read the book to find out – book available on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca – link to the former on the book above and to the latter on the book at the end of this post), things will change.

Think about it. The two friends will be stuck in the car on a continuous basis. Millie is already fed up with the way her life isn’t going and Jessica, a non-driver, is scared they won’t get out of their situation. Millie is a control freak and Jessica hangs onto her Blackberry like it’s her lifeline – even when there is no reception. In the actual story, the relationship between the two friends changes as Millie learns some hard facts which hurl her over her personal tripping point. This could intensify and Millie’s actions could happen much faster and maybe being stuck in the snow with Jessica might bring out new terrifying traits and changes in the two women.

In your fiction – short story or novel – put your main characters, preferably the antagonist and protagonist, stuck in a snowstorm – if not in a car, maybe at a pub, a hotel, a meeting, a resort. How would they react? Would their conflict get worse or would it give them time to pause and do something about it? And remember, these are two idnividual characters here, so one may want to sort out their differences and the other one might not. One might get nastier; one might have a fear of being trapped and how would that affect his or her character? The possibilities are endless.

Put your characters in a snowstorm – even if only as a writing exercise. It will show you different sides of your characters and perhaps give you some insights into their development that you can use in your story – snowstorm or not, for example, how do your characters deal with unexpected adversity, especially of the severe weather kind?

Now, I better psyche myself out to shovel all that snow. I don’t dream of a White Christmas season. I dream of summer and my garden. Meantime, I have a guest blog post appearing on another Crime Writers of Canada member’s blog, December 28, 2012. Check it out at http://sweatercursed.blogspot.ca/

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

Link to amazon.ca for Sharon A. Crawford's book

Link to amazon.ca for Sharon A. Crawford’s book

 

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Christmas with your fiction characters

Link to Sharon A.'s book on amazon.com

Link to Sharon A.’s book on amazon.com

I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year.

– E.M. Forster

How do the characters in your novel and short stories spend Christmas? Or do they even celebrate Christmas or any of the other cultural traditions for this time of year? (I’m using “Christmas” generically here.) Maybe you don’t actually set your stories at Christmastime, but it doesn’t hurt to imagine how your fictional characters do Christmas – even write it down – because Christmas can bring out the best and the worst of everyone in real life. And so it should in fiction.

None of my short stories in Beyond the Tripping Point are set at Christmas time, so I’m not sure what that says about me. However, if the fraternal twins, Dana Bowman and Bast Overture (“Gone Missing,” “Saving Grace,” “Digging Up the Dirt,” and “Road Raging”) were to celebrate Christmas, they probably would go to Christmas Mass for the first time in years (and you’ll have to buy the book and read the stories to see why). Great Aunt Doris would make one of her crash-unexpected visits and that would put a damper in the celebrations for Dana, Bast but maybe not Dana’s son David. The Great One, as she is called, is at loggerheads with Dana and Bast but gets along with David. I envision her coming with them to Christmas Mass and surprising Dana with her singing voice when singing the hymns, albeit singing in her gravelly voice. She’ll interfere with Bast and his Christmas cooking and the present unwrapping might turn into a free-for-all. It might end up with no one speaking or all learning something from the shared experience. And my forte being mystery fiction, there would be a murder, a robbery (maybe someone stealing the Christmas church collection) or some crime that the twins, with David’s help, and Great Aunt Doris’ meddling, would solve.

So you can see how imagining your fictional characters’ Christmas can help develop your characters. And maybe just create another story or chapter in your novel.

At this time, I want to wish you all a good holiday season (Christmas or whatever you celebrate). Take some time for family and friends, and for yourself and your writing.

Meantime, click on the book graphic above to link to my book (print or Kindle) at amazon.com

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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Blog tours for your writing and your book

 book cover Beyond the Tripping Point

Click on book cover to get to amazon.com link to my book

Without promotion something terrible happens…nothing.

–          P.T. Barnum
I’ve been busy writing guest spot blog posts or doing blog tours as they are called. This is a great way to promote your published book. However, it also can work to promote your writing and to do a writing feedback exchange. Blog tours can expand your blog’s readership and create new connections. And we writers working in isolation need to connect.

Connecting with other writers not only gets you out of this aloneness but it can be of mutual benefit to you and your connections. You can read what others are writing and discover different writing styles, learn more in different areas (we writers are supposed to be curious), possibly get some writing feedback going back and forth and perhaps some guest blog posting.

A writer friend, Shane Joseph, has come up with a unique way to promote his published writing on WatPad  http://www.wattpad.com/. And  he will also be a featured writer on WatPad  December 14. Direct link to Shane’s work is http://www.wattpad.com/8704102-lest-they-be-forgotten-foreword

My two guest blog posts coming up this month do help promote my short story collection Beyond the Tripping Point, but they also provide details on how and why I write. One post, set up in Q and A style, covers how my writing career evolved and provides a way to share some of the joys and pitfalls of writing – I also like to read about other authors and how they are evolving. In another guest blog I go into my writing name identity crises. Any writer who uses or considers using pseudonyms can relate to this issue.

I suggest you read other writers’ blogs and comment. Connect.

Check out these links:

Shane Joseph on Watpad http://www.wattpad.com/8704102-lest-they-be-forgotten-foreword

My two upcoming blog tours:

The name post – What’s in a Name? Going live December 15, 2012 at http://typem4murder.blogspot.ca/

Q and A – Going live December 28, 2012 at http://sweatercursed.blogspot.ca/

Happy reading and connecting.

And for Canadians, Beyond the Tripping Point is now available in print and Kindle from amazon.ca – direct link http://www.amazon.ca/Beyond-Tripping-Point-Sharon-Crawford/dp/0986952893/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355327652&sr=1-1

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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When your fiction characters take over your mind

Beyond the Tripping Point Cover 72dpiA novelist is a person who lives in other people’s skins.

–       –    EL Doctorow

I’m rewriting the prequel novel to four linked stories in my short story collection Beyond the Tripping Point (Blue Denim Press, 2012). The main characters are the fraternal twin PIs Dana Bowman and Bast Overture, Detective Sergeant Donald Fielding, Great Aunt Doris, and Dana’s son, David. They appear in some or all of those linked stories and also in the novel I’m rewriting.

Trouble is one of the suspects in the novel has climbed inside my head and demands to be heard – loud and clear. I can see clearly what he looks like and does and I’ve already written him into some chapters, even given him his own Point of View, but he is still not satisfied. It is his story as much as it is the other characters’ story..

So I made some notes to go with the “old novel version chapters” and Friday afternoon I sat down at my computer and started a full-blown character sketch of this fellow. The sketch, when completed, will contain everything from what he eats (or doesn’t eat) for breakfast, to his sordid past, to his feelings and actions for the novel’s time. Not all, but some of this will be incorporated into the novel, bit by bit (without revealing his name until the police and PIs get up to speed about him). He will also get more novel time. After all, I don’t want him coming after me.

So, what do you do if one of your fiction characters seems to be taking over your mind to the point where you do your version of the absent-minded professor? Besides your mind swirling around like it’s going through space, not paying attention to the present/to what is happening can be dangerous. You don’t want to cross the street right in front of an oncoming car or burn dinner to the point where it sets your house on fire.

To give your demanding character his or her due, you need to do the following:

  • Acknowledge the character and his or her right to be in your short story, novella or novel
  • Do an in-depth character sketch – preferably on computer or on paper. You know the old saying about writing it down – doing so not only shows its relevance, but it gets all those swirling thoughts and ideas out of your head and into a more permanent record – at least one easier to access and review. Your head will thank you.
  • What is in a detailed character sketch? You character’s name, background (family, education, current job if he or she has one), physical characteristics, likes, dislikes, traits, What makes him or her angry, sad, happy, etc. What is his driving force in life? In other words all the stuff that he is and what makes him tick?
  • It helps to give this character a tag, i.e., something (or a few somethings) he does when nervous (become irritable, jingle change or keys in pocket, etc.), and something he does or says across the board. For example, he may always use the f-word or have a particular way of handling phone calls (talk to the point and hang up abruptly). Perhaps the character may have multiple allergies and constantly sneezes. The “tag” or “tags” should be something that becomes part of your story.
  • Caveat One: You can get carried away doing character sketches (or the reverse). The former is better because you won’t use it all in your story, and may use very little in your short story. But having full insight into your character and on paper, helps when you sit down in front of your computer to write your story. You feel as if your character is an old friend or old enemy.
  • Caveat Two: As you write your novel or short story, you may be inspired to add more to your character sketch or change something. Do so if it would work better. A character is constantly changing – just like real characters in real life.

Do any of you who are writing fiction have characters taking over your life? How do you deal with these demanding individuals?

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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Point of View – Part 4 – The “God” POV

Cover of Sharon A. Crawford’s mystery short story collection

Easy reading is damn hard writing.

–          Nathaniel Hawthorne

The omniscient point of view is sometimes called the “God point of view” because it is the point of view that is see all, hear all and know all. Here, besides various characters’ POV you get the narrator jumping in. The narrator or “God” can do things like give background of a setting or other information that none of the characters would know. The omniscient POV also lets the author step back a little from getting too close to his or her characters, although the latter isn’t obligatory. The author may get close to his protagonist and antagonist.

Just to muddy the omniscient waters more, the rule of one character’s POV per scene (or per chapter if chapters aren’t divided into scenes) still applies, although some proponents of the omniscient POV disagree and say you can be in all characters’ heads at once.  “God” maybe is able to be everywhere at once, but your reader can’t with one exception – that narrator or “God” can work in those setting details – you know the type where one character drives into a town he has never visited and more than just what he can see and know is narrated (town’s history, for example).

When to Use Omniscient POV

You can best get your message across and further your plot by revealing many characters’ thoughts, and feelings.

When your story can’t be told from one person’s point of view because of actions occurring in the plot.

When your story needs information that none of the characters would have knowledge of.

In novels that cover several time periods and that have several characters.

In a nutshell, the author knows all/sees all understands all of what each character thinks, imagines, knows, feels.

It’s complicated.

What Isn’t Omniscient POV

First let’s cover what isn’t omniscient POV, but uses a technique not too common – mixing up first person and third person. Mystery writer Bill Pronzini does this in his “Nameless” detective novels. His earlier novels were told from the first person only and Nameless was just that. In later novels, Pronzini has three POV characters – Nameless (who has a first name now) and two other private investigators in the agency. Nameless is told from the first POV and the other two are in the third person. He sticks to the one character’s POV per chapter and puts the name of the third person POV at the beginning of the chapter. Nameless chapters don’t get this subheading because readers should be able to tell from the first person usage who the character is. Pronzini does this very well.

Omniscient POV in Short Stories

Omniscient, per se, isn’t usually used in short stories, although a variation of it can be used. You can have your narrator come in at the beginning with information about the story, the characters, the setting, etc. but at some point you have to focus on one character’s point of view. Because short stories are supposed to be well, short, you probably shouldn’t use more than two points of view, but no jumping heads – one character’s POV per scene. Otherwise you have the inside of the reader’s head jerking back and forth and getting confused. You do not want your reader to be confused – confused readers give up reading a story (or a novel).

Omniscient POV in Novels.

I use a variation of omniscient POV in my prequel mystery novel which I am writing now. I say “variation” because I put one character, Dana Bowman, in the first person and other main characters’ POV in the third person. I name the POV character at the beginning of the chapter or scene, but unlike Bill Pronzini I do put “Dana” for the first person POV character. However, for obvious reasons, I put nothing at the beginning of chapters with the POV of a maybe suspect.

Dana is put in the first person because she is the character I want the reader to get closest to. She always wears her emotions on her sleeve. Her fraternal twin Bast Overture is in third person for two reasons. He is not so forthcoming in his feelings, even in his own mind, and I want to show the reader this. The other main characters I get close to in varying degrees, but none as close as Dana.

As for the narrator jumping in to do the scene descriptions, etc. I’m still working on that or if I want it strictly from specific characters point of view. I’m leaning towards the latter and there is a technique in that which I’ll cover in a future post.

Meantime, read the beginning of my short story “No Breaks,” and see if you can figure out the Point of View and why? Is it third person limited or is it omniscient?

It’s a scummy Saturday morning and Highway 11 resembles fast food parking hell. If you’re making your last ditch scramble for your reserved spot in the Muskokas, try an alternate route.”

“Yeah, what alternate? Highway 400 is worse.” Millie Browne yells back at the radio announcer. She clicks off the radio.

Most of these Saturday drivers probably have air-conditioned cars. Millie isn’t blessed with air-conditioning. She isn’t blessed. She can’t even remember whether she was baptized as an infant, but today she’s going to remedy that.

Today, on this heat-infested highway, Millie desires only one thing: an even break in life. To obtain this end she plans to jump in the lake. She’s not sure which Muskoka lake but she doesn’t care. It won’t be Baptism by fire, but Millie figures the cold water will clear her head and bring some control back into her life.

Control is Millie’s keyword. She’s organized her life every day from senior year in high school. Her diaries (the truth) speak in contrast to her calendar (the plan).

Not so Jessica Myers, age 30, sitting beside Millie and thumbing on her BlackBerry… (excerpted from Beyond the Tripping Point, copyright 2012 Sharon A. Crawford, published by Blue Denim Press)

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

 

 

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POV – First person or third person – Part 3

Cover of Sharon’s book Beyond the Tripping Point

My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel–it is, before all, to make you see.

– Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim

So you want to get inside one person’s head (or at least one person at a time) in your story. Should you go for first person singular or third person singular?

Let’s look at how these can work.

First Person Point of View – the story is told from one character’s point of view, using “I,” “me,” “my” and “our.” The character could be a major player who is active in the novel, or the observer, as in F. Scott’s Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby.  Or an observer/major player, such as Archie in the Nero Wolfe mystery novels.

Anything that happens in the story must be what the character can see, hear, touch, feel, think, imagine or read. He or she can say what he sees about other characters but can reveal only his own feelings. He could imagine what the other character feels, but this must be clear. You can get around some of what sounds like restrictions by using emails, Facebook pages, Twitter – as long as it is either what the  I POV character is doing or reading. To help keep on track, picture a video camera inside this first person narrator’s head.

My short story “16 Dorsey St.” from Beyond the Tripping Point is told using emails between two sisters, Elsa and Sylvia .with newspaper clips thrown in. The POV remains with Elsa even with Sylvia’s replies. Elsa is reading them from her computer. Here’s a short example.

E-mail from Elsa to Sylvia

3/3/1997 9.07 P.M.

Subject: Newspaper story

Sylvia, something disturbing happened. The “someone” at the door was today’s newspaper and I don’t get the paper delivered. An article on the front page of section two was circled in red. I’ve scanned it and am attaching it so you can read it.

Love,

Elsa

Attachment to e-mail:

CRIME FLASHBACK—MURDER ANNIVERSARY TODAY

Today is the anniversary of one of Toronto’s most baffling murder cases. Fifty years ago, a 23-year-old woman was strangled. Lois Harkner was a honey blonde beauty, a lady who would never hurt anyone. Yet someone wanted her dead.

Harkner was found lying beside her dressing table…

(Excerpted from Beyond the Tripping Point, copyright 2012 Sharon A. Crawford, published by Blue Denim Press 2012)

When to use First Person POV

To move the plot forward, your readers need to know the main character’s inner thoughts.

You can reveal your main character best by telling the story from main character’s POV.

Revealing the conflict works best by showing the readers only the main character’s thoughts.

You want your readers to get up close and personal with your main character.

Third Person Point of View – the story is told from the narrator as “he/she” – you can use people’s names. Here the narrator is further from the story than the first person POV. In Third Person the story is told from that one character’s POV with only what he can observe, hear, etc.

Here’s the beginning of my short story “No Breaks” I combine what Millie hears on the radio with Millie’s inner thoughts.

“It’s a scummy Saturday morning and Highway 11 resembles fast food parking hell. If you’re making your last ditch scramble for your reserved spot in the Muskokas, try an alternate route.”

“Yeah, what alternate? Highway 400 is worse.” Millie Browne yells back at the radio announcer. She clicks off the radio.

Most of these Saturday drivers probably have air-conditioned cars. Millie isn’t blessed with air-conditioning. She isn’t blessed. She can’t even remember whether she was baptized as an infant, but today she’s going to remedy that.

(Excerpted from Beyond the Tripping Point, copyright 2012 Sharon A. Crawford, published by Blue Denim Press, 2012)

When to Use Third Person POV

First person POV won’t work because you need to have your narrator more distanced to report your main character’s thoughts and actions. Also use third person if first person gets in the way of showing your main character’s weaknesses. This latter is not always necessary, as some characters seem to be able to get around their egos to show and comment on their weaknesses. For example self-effacing humour, inner thoughts where they present their view as correct but they word it so you can read their weakness between the lines.

Narrator’s objectivity strengthens the main character or the story’s message.

In next week’s post we’ll go into using the omniscient Point of View as that can be complex and confusing.

Meantime, check out my short story collection and maybe purchase a copy. It is now available as an e-book. Click on the book cover above.

Cheers.

Sharon A. Crawford

 

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